Cat Connections

Perched on top of an 8ft colorbond fence whilst levering a ladder between mine and my neighbour’s yard was not exactly where I had pictured myself being on a Sunday afternoon. It was cat related. Specifically, Lachlan’s cat related. To be honest it wasn’t completely Dany’s fault that he ended up in our neighbour’s yard. He had jumped up onto the dividing fence and in my aim to grab one of his quickly escaping limbs, I had accidently knocked him off and right over the fence into the next yard. Oops. Looks like I’m back to my pre-Winter project “Keeping Lachlan’s Cat Inside the yard.”

last Autumn I spent quite a bit of time at Bunnings Warehouse (hardware store). Not because I had nothing better to do or because I was buying supplies for house projects, but because of this cat’s unabated desire for adventure and my need for inspiration on how to contain him. Dany’s (Danny with One N) persistence for adventure has caused at times considerable elevated levels of stress, hilarity, adrenaline filled chases, absurdity, and absolute distraction from any other events within our lives.

Lachlan’s cat Dany, entered our lives, home and hearts when we ventured to the shops to exchange a pair of slippers for Lach’s Birthday. I didn’t think it would hurt to take a look in at the animal rescue and I don’t suppose it did. Dany chose Lach and that was that. Apart from the first night when he pounced on Lach’s face at 3am, resulting in a hysterical screaming child, he has been a constant comfort, companion, support, joy, entertainment and definite re focus for both of our energies. A truly welcome relief at times.

As parents, one of our primary objectives and responsibilities is to keep our children safe and protected from harm, but that in itself became tricky to navigate internally under the circumstances I found us in. How do I keep my child safe from a brain tumour diagnosis? or the side effects and long-term impacts of conventional treatments? Feelings of helplessness, loss of control, loss of power to help my child and the inability to take action to ‘fix’ the situation that was causing my child fear, pain, and injury. Who was I supposed to fight? As a parent I found this extremely difficult, distressing, and frustrating at times (a lot of times) because I was desperate to protect and keep Lachlan safe. That was my primary instinct as a mother, and I felt that I was failing him and failing at that role. I wanted to be able to take what I perceived as ‘real’ action to help him and to change the circumstances.

Over time I’ve learnt there are many positive actions that I can take as Lach’s Mum to help keep him safe, secure, and happy and promote his healing and good health, whilst actively changing how he and we observe, perceive, and experience our lives. Even with a serious diagnosis. One of those actions is creating an environment where Lachlan has the opportunity to thrive. A place where there is joy, love, laughter, fun, silliness, absurdity, openness, trust, belief and faith, just to get started. An environment where we create so many happy and positive memories and experiences that they easily lighten and outshine any of the heavier or darker stuff. It’s about tipping the scales and letting the light shine in so brightly that the darkness doesn’t stand a chance. Creating a far greater positive than negative charge in our experiences and lives as a whole.

One thing that’s always been an important inclusion in our lives and a physical, mental, and emotional light for Lach (and me) is his fury companions. Over the years there have been pony’s, guinea pigs, fluffy bantam chooks, gorgeous steadfast doggy friends and now a slightly neurotic, funny, and incredibly adored black cat named Dany. All of these creatures have been well loved and cared for over the years, but Lach’s particular connection and attachment to Dany is at a different level and intensity. There’s something about Dany and their connection that helps Lach feel safe and secure, keeps the nightmares and anxiety at bay, dispels feelings of isolation or fear and seems to give Lachlan something that is just his to love and to be loved. This relationship between boy and cat is so especially important right now.

So, if maintaining and protecting that relationship means hauling Dany back over a fence by his long, black fury legs, or physically building a cat playground/fortress in our back yard, then that’s absolutely what I will do. You see this cat’s safety and wellbeing feels like it is intrinsically linked to Lachlan’s safety and wellbeing right now, and that is something I can take very real and physical action around.

Whatever it takes I will keep Dany with one N safe and well, whether he participates willingly or not, because deep down in my soul I believe that if I keep this cat safe and protected then in some slightly twisted way, I will also be keeping Lachlan safe and protected too.

The past six ½ years have brought many opportunities for growth. Many of them very well supported by our fury friends love and companionship. Certainly, I would have preferred these opportunities to be delivered through a vastly different and less hectic experience, but I’m grateful for how these circumstances have forced me to expand as a human being. Becoming comfortable with various levels of uncertainty, releasing the idea of control as we perceive it, finding grace and humility in asking and being open to receive love and support from others, and somehow navigating the overwhelming feeling of helplessness. I’m grateful that now I feel so much more empowered and open and have a real sense of purpose around holding Lachlan’s hand as we navigate our journey together. We are now open and ready to grow and evolve from a place of Joy.